Crossroads...

It was love at first sight … I was floored hook, line and sinker. Taken aback, breathless…so different from anything else I had ever seen and then reality sunk in… and I came to Bangalore finally…but I hope not for keeps!

Well Bangalore…as a thoroughbred Delhiite would put it…The city is way too neat…Where is all the dust and grime we are so used to? Bring it on…Miss it all…even though I hate it all.

Bangalore is the land of ubiquitous CCDs, round every nook and cranny….They have more than one in every block…Can you beat that! Ahem… we Delhiites are more used to Barista, definitely more arrogant than the humble CCD.

More seriously, the city smells of jasmine everywhere…software is like a cottage industry here…a place where you will find the biggest showrooms and yet not get the things you want… the city where having a two-way road is considered “the thing,” a very common sight when you peek out of the autorickshaw is scores of techies, all on bikes saddled with backpacks…as if some divine assembly line is generating those prototypes and mailing them to Bangalore. You could get stuck in traffic jams even when you move around your block…It’s a place where there is no correlation between the weather and the time of the year…Heck…I can look at Delhiites and tell what month of the year it is…you will find innumerable pubs and discos, but sadly not that many libraries…that’s Bangalore for you.

Ah Delhi…the city exudes warmth, shopping at Sarojeni Nagar, the narrow bylanes of Kamla Nagar, the riotous colors in Chandni Chowk, where it is forever festival time…Delhi Metro, rickshaw rides, malls and flea shopping, blueline buses, all night tea stalls, the greenery of Delhi University, the big white buildings at CP, vendors and hawkers on every pedestrian pathway, the open air amphitheater at Central Park, boating at India Gate, all those massive flyovers, road rage, kulfi at Roshan’s in Karol Bagh, haggling with autowallahs, the crème-de la crème at Rajouri Garden, Delhi is forever on the steroid called arrogance, we are forever throwing our weight around…and forever flaunting…boisterous, noisy, chaotic, rude, and amazingly likeable at the same time. Gawd! I miss it all ….

From noise I sky dived into vacuum… the silence in Bangalore is killing….

It finally started … all this jargon, the fancy terminologies, biz gobbledygook, Greek gibberish … I wonder …do we really need all this?
Yeah … I am told … “cuz others spout these so you need it too … there has to be some USP, else what is the value add?"
I have suffered much waffle over the past few days-some good some bad and some worse!
I used to feel that we unnecessarily complicate our lives with all these theories, hypotheses, models, concepts and systems, some of which is pure conjecture … but now I feel that even if it is hogwash, it is pretty good hogwash.
Rome beckons … and so I must heed the Romans… and do as they have done and are doing…

Deconstruct deconstruct deconstruct!

When will we learn?

Lets herald our nation's latest obsession: A country of one billion, is now fixated on one gold medal. I am amazed not at the amount of popular sentiments that have been generated, but their nature. We are celebrating this occassion as if it were a huge triumph. In fact, it is a national shame. It took us 56 years after the 1952 Helsinki Games to win a gold...It took one man to change it, and he changed it despite the lack of infrastructure provided by the government, despite the callousness of the authorities, who dont provide proper equipment and training facilities to youngsters. In his moment of glory, all the state governments and government organizations rushed to partake in his fame. Even more amusing is the prize money being bestowed on him: 1, 00,00,000 by the Punjab Government; 50,00,000 by the BCCI and the Haryana government; 10,00,000 by the Maharashtra CM; 5,00,000 by the Chandigarh administration efforts; 1,00,000 by the Chattisgarh government; 30,00,000 by the Central government; 10,00,000 by the Karnataka government. The question is if the state governments were so blessed by funds, then why didnt they utilize it for developing training centres, providing modern contemporary equipment, better coaches to the players...so that more Abhinavs would have done India proud? More players would have access to the facilities which have clearly been denied to them.
We should utilize this incident to introspect. Will we achieve a gold at Olympics only by the effort of a person who is capable of overriding government apathy? Will the government never ever create a program to nurture and cultivate sportspeople and take away the petty politics that currently infests our sporting culture?
Let alone this Olympics, we have no plans for the London games. To win, first you need a desire to win. Whereas, the US and China are obsessed with who will end up on the top of the total medals tally, we are still hoping with anticipation that maybe, with fortitude, with luck, we might win another medal. The difference lies in the attitude.

Where is it?

She wandered through the city, through skyscrapers, through the sea-swept beaches, through a crowded street, through boardrooms, through malls, at day...at night....and yet she couldnt find it....
It left her puzzled. What could she do to find it?
She woke up each morning, consumed with just one thought. Where was it? Why couldnt she locate it? All around her, she had the external trappings of happiness, yet only she knew the truth...and how far was she from it...
She was intrigued by this quest... as much elusive as it was futile...but she ploughed on...
The apartment was filled with things....and silence. It was as if everything was operating on mute...
Awards, accolades, and praise kept on accumulating meanwhile...and her search continued. She grew desperate...and restless. It had to be somewhere...and all of what she had was meaningless without it...
She continued to immerse herself in all the other things in life...charity, reading, cooking, and did all that she could to keep her busy. But now the only thought that haunted her life was fast turning into an obsession...Where was it?
She attracted a lot of attention, the kind that a successful, single woman does, and surprisingly, she was immune to it all. Only one thought was capable of arousing any kind of emotion in her... Everything else in her life was something she could do on auto-pilot.
Her quest showed her how passionately she desired what she missed...and it took her through the entire gamut of emotions....first curiousity, when she realized what was missing, then determination to find it, then frustation at not being able to find it...and now she was nearing despair...
Then, one fine day, she found it....and that too at work!! Her missing piece of heart was strutting down the staircase, trying to balance a huge pile of paperwork, in all his bespectacled glory...and then she knew what she was missing all this while... she reached up and touched her heart....and now knew it was complete....

Rain….and it is as if every hue in nature is washed and scrubbed, green, the meadows are awash with color, the shadow of hills is a blue blur in the background, the trees are drooping with blossoms, it is like an idyllic stroll through nature’s own backyard, the sky is a gloomy as if in anger, the clouds will cackle and vent their fury of rain on us, a flock of birds fly by, a sea of white over the vast blue overhead. Amongst this all, a solitary train trudges along, where people are occupied with their own worries, and the song of nature goes unheard…
Rivulets spring up, as if offsprings of the canals and rivers. Boats stand by, as if waiting for the season’s catch

The pastures roll on as far as the eyes span…meeting the foot of the mountains, as if in reverence….No dazzling electronic wonders can ever compete with the sheer beauty of a tree with the overhanging boughs providing solace in its green arms….The tall trees at the end of the meadows, standing as if sentinels over the entire grasslands, a house nestled in the hills, a cozy abode….

A river meanders along, as if unsure of her path and is ambling along.

Evening comes and darkness falls. Wisps of smoke rise, as if chorusing in unison the onset of night…

Nightbells ring, temple bells toll, and the crickets, birds, bees, and insects start their opera for the night

Morning dawns, and people go about their business of making a living, and forgetting life in the interim.That is what nature is… an exquisite princess, a tempestuous woman in fury, the comfort of a mother’s arms….a woman in all her shades

Despair.....

People with vacant eyes and dull faces...each morning heralds a day that is struck off the calender....trudging from home to office and back again...weary of life and weary of living...effacing the memory of each day...drowned in misery and drenched in sorrow...comfortable in the everyday sameness of life...confused, lost, and directionless...fighting for perfection and then struggling to accept incompleteness...tunnel vision with no end in sight...falling once to rise again...and then falling again never to rise once....a lost battle and a lost cause....
Struggling for life..struggling to live...and then struggling to breathe....
Dragging yourself..and your feet....
A tired soul...a weary pen...muted to silence...and silenced into submission......
Nothing is wholesome....everything is a half-hearted attempt at living....even the breath you inhale....
It is as if everyone is waiting for someone to switch the power off in their lives.......

Love...................

Usually in two circumstances, do we give something to someone. Either if it is completely useless to us or if it is extremely dear to us. In the former, the lack of its need in our life presents an opportunity for us to dispense it. In the latter, we like something so much that we want another person to revel in the same joy as we did.
So why dont we treat love the same way?
We cant love somebody by despising ourselves and making another indivisual the object of our affection. Before loving somebody else, we must love ourselves completely, categorically, and unambigously. Only then can we give ourselves to the one we love.
Loving ourselves in no way means we overlook our deficiencies.It just means that by loving yourself first, you choose to give that person the thing that is most dearest to you: yourself....